I’ve begun to realize that life is a series of small, and what seems like insignificant moments that define who you are. I always used to tell myself that life is comprised of momentous and grand instances when either something incredibly dramatic or extremely fantastical happens. However, even though those moments are significant in their own way, they are not what I look back and reflect on when thinking about my life. For instance, this week I have come across several beautiful small moments that are adding to the life that I call my own.
On Thursday, I celebrated the holiday, Holi, with my study abroad group, a friend, Shreya, from St. Xavier’s and then the numerous children of her apartment complex. We spent a good portion of the day running from the children who were screaming, “This is for the Indians! Get those Britishers!” There was colored powder flying everywhere and water soaking every inch of my clothing and small, ruthless children attacking me, but it was such an awesome experience. I was able to be a kid again and to see the sheer joy of playing with powder and water. Holi is said to be a holiday of starting anew and recreating your life, and I couldn’t imagine a better way to recreate my life. Of course, I had color in places where color just shouldn’t be, but what’s a little smurf and alien pigmentation when you had a jolly time?
On Friday, we went to Anjali which is an organization that works for the rights of those suffering from mental illnesses. It’s true in India as it’s true in the U.S, and unfortunately, everywhere that people suffering from mental illness are looked down upon and ignored or pushed aside in society. To me, this is so incredibly sad, because these people are human beings. Human beings. Do we forget what that means sometimes? Do we forget that at any time that could be us and we would want the same mercy that we don’t give to those who do suffer? I heard a wise saying that talks about how God would respond if someone asked Him why people suffer, and it goes like this: “Numerous of my children are in bondage because my other children have not manifested their calling.” This is such a resonating statement. Anjali is certainly an organization that is responding to the call that each human being holds. We went to the mental hospital where the men stay, and my eyes were opened to beautiful, beautiful, human beings. My most unforgettable moment was sitting on straw mats across from these wonderful men who suffer from mental illness and they were singing us the most beautiful song from Tagore. They had all of their eyes closed and were singing with such emotion and passion. Honestly, it is one of the most amazing sights I have ever been blessed to hold.
Today, our NGO Prayasam had their Sakha Gala that I commented on previously, and it was such a joyful celebration. Many children from the RAC village came, and they were extremely hospitable and kind and humorous and just so empowering. These children or youth I should say come from such difficult backgrounds where they’re told that they can’t receive an education so they should just settle for domestic work or the girls should just get married. None of them are told that they can receive an education and they can achieve a job that they would actually enjoy. These children that we met today though had such ambition and gumption. After the talks, I was privileged to meet many of the youth and they all asked my name and offered me their mishit (or sweet) and asked to take my picture. It was such a happy moment, and it just gave me such hope for those youth that experience struggle and heartache, because even though they face so much opposition, there is perseverance. Their smiles brightened my thoughts of the future, because if I know that the youth are smiling, then I know that their life is not unbearable. If those youth can laugh and smile those authentic smiles at me, then I know that their future is possible. Those smiles are some of the best motivators possible.
Another small moment is that lately, when I’ve been giving fruit to some of the people on Park Street, I have been gifted the most beautiful smiles. It’s only really happened recently or maybe I’ve just noticed it recently, but when I’ve given the older women outside of the metro an orange or the man by the bank an orange, I have received the most wonderful smile. I would always leave the people I met on the street just feeling awful because I always felt like I could do more, and trust me I still do. However, it’s been much more heart-warming to see their smiles and to know that they do need that fruit. I’ve even said hello to them in Bangla, and they respond with a hello or with a smile. Even that tiny human interaction leaves both of us, at least I hope both, feeling that interconnectedness that humans beings hold but rarely realize. I am certain that smile or that hello does more for me than for the older woman or the man, but it is the best moment of my day and one that leaves me hopeful for the next day. These are moments treasured now, because they weren’t present before.
See, or maybe you don’t because I’m the one experiencing them, but hopefully you see that these moments, these small and what seem like insignificant moments are actually the moments that create what I love to call my life. Running on a field being splashed in the face with color from kids yelling, “Get the Britishers!” to listening to the most wondrous spiritual song from beautiful men who are labeled, “crazy” to high-fiving and taking Bollywood photos with the youth from the RAC village to saying hello and smiling at the woman by the metro or the man by the bank are the moments that I wish I could string with twinkling lights in my mind and keep forever. Without truly realizing it, these moments are creating the woman that I hope I will be proud of one day. If I never had these moments or if I didn’t realize the meaning of these instances, I would have an unfortunate life. These moments are like the laughing or hugging pictures that you capture on a Polaroid and keep forever, because those posed, matching-outfit photos just don’t express your life like you wish it would. My life is a series of Polaroid shots.
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