Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

In most instances, it is considered negative when parents don’t tell their children no. Children who are not told no are regularly seen as spoiled and selfish. “They’ll never be ready for the real world,” commentators say. “Their parents should have raised them properly,” bystanders advise. As much as I value others’ opinions, I continue to stubbornly maintain that as a child that is never told no, I believe that I am as ready for the world as anyone else, and I also believe this is so because my parents raised me according to their values. I am ready because, in fact, they never told me no.

When I say this, I am not implying trivial things such as a Disney journal or gymnastics lessons, although I am still holding that against both of my parents. I am referring to vital things such as the Navajo Reservation or India or missionary work. My parents have never told me that such vital matters as these are not possible. Although dad does offer his occasional financial spreadsheet or mom warns me of safety, both of them know and believe that I am possible. I say “I am possible” because my visions and my passions encompass who I am. I would not love as ardently or brainstorm as fantastically if it was not for the absence of the word “no” from the lips of my parents. Each time I would approach them with a spontaneous idea for my life or some self-created dream that absolutely lacks all rationality, my parents would return a gentle smile that proves what I already know, “Of course you can”. I can hear my mom and dad say to each other, “She’ll do it her way,” or “We’re going to be doing this a lot with her”.

I write this because lately I have seen many youth and young adults who hear no quite often from their parents. Their imagination is stifled and rationality has become their constant companion. They truly don’t have much of a choice. I can’t fathom that lifestyle, and it is due to my parents’ never ending encouragement that I’ve never had to. I see life as an ever-changing masterpiece to which my parents have supplied the paint. My favorite quote that my parents and I share often is this: “There is no use trying’, said Alice… ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I dare say you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’”

                                           

This quote, as most know, comes from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. I happened upon this towards the beginning of my college career and after sharing it with my parents, it has just stuck with us all. There are moments when I am even Alice, doubting my capabilities and my dreams, but then the voice of the Queen or in this case my parents, replies, “Why?”

My hope for every child and youth and young adult in this world is that they can have parents that genuinely and authentically believe in them as mine have, do and always will. I am who I am because of my parents. I think we often forget what our motivator is or what are our motivators in our life, what pushes us to strive for something when the rest of the world seems to be saying, “You’re crazy, that’ll never happen”. My parents are my motivators and without them, I never would have realized the unique beauty that I behold to this world or continued with the path of the Peace Studies or found my home on the Navajo Reservation or ventured to the mysterious country of India. Before I left for India my mom told me that she was struggling with how to let me go, something that will be a continuous battle she has discovered. She said to me that as she way praying to God she realized that I was never hers to own. I was given to her on loan from God and it is her duty to send me out in the world according to His wishes. How many moms could do that or even admit that to their children? She is a woman of pure love. Then there’s my dad. Whenever I tell him of an accomplishment or job opportunity he always tells me that it comes to no surprise to him because of the fact that he always knows my potential. He is a man of authentic faith. With this pure love and authentic faith combined into two incredibly motivational parents, how could I live my life any differently?