If she can do it, so can my Durga.

Lately, I've been thinking quite a bit about the youth and the women, basically the females, of Kolkata and India. I've been thinking about their rights and their freedom, and how easily and often that I take my rights and my freedom for granted. If you know me at all, you know that I am a proud and stubborn woman, and that I am incredibly adamant about women's rights. It's just been such a difficulty seeing that women don't have even close to equal rights and equal treatment to men. There are women that are brave and beautiful and blunt and are rocking Kolkata by storm, but there are so many more women that are not being heard and are being treated as slaves or as animals, disposable to the men that they work for. How did I come to take my freedom so lightly? The only time I've been ridiculed or teased was mainly from my brothers, and I was more than capable to spit a sarcastic comment right back to them. In fact, if someone tells me no, it makes me want to do it even more. I do not like being told that I can't do something.

I know that the women of India feel the same way, but they may not know how to go about voicing their rights and their hopes. They don't have many avenues to explore in finding out their rights and what they want from their life and from their world. There are NGO's working day and night, thankfully, to help women and youth, but it is a slow process. I can only dream and hope that in the future, the women and youth of India will be free to voice their ideas and free to change their world. I was reading an article today sent from my instructor, Sucharita, and it was talking about female education. This mom was saying that even though her family is very poor and they are living under a bridge, she wants her daughter, Durga, to get an education. She knows that is her only way out of the vicious cycle, and she doesn't want her daughter to have her life.

Now, I don't want to paint a picture of these victimized women that need to be pitied. In fact, these women are relentless, in a positive way. They are unstoppable. But they do need help in achieving their dreams. I have been blessed with the variety of women that I've met in India, and I hope that I can grow to be like them one day. If I could use one word to describe them it would be "gumption". Gumption means, "courage; spunk; guts." This is the epitome of the Indian women here. They bring a radical meaning to the word "fierce".

Why is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?

So often it becomes difficult to recognize truth. I'm not entirely certain that truth is so easy to come by anymore these days. For me, truth is something that is essential to living. I cannot understand people who speak falsely. I don't understand why someone would choose to live their life based on falsehood. It frightens me to think that there are people in this world that are so convincingly false. Why can't the entire world tell the truth? Why is that such an arduous task for us? I'm wondering this because today, we had a speaker from an NGO. This NGO works in Sonagachi, and the person today was sharing with us the work that this NGO is doing. However, the statistics presented showing that there was a decline in the minors involved in sex work seemed extremely unlikely, and there were no sources to back the claims. Also, this NGO's main goal is to legalize sex work, because they believe that most of these women chose to work in Sonagachi.

I just truly struggled with this presentation, and it's been bothering me for some time today. I don't want to blame this NGO or accuse them of lying, but I can't seem to believe them. How could that many women choose to work in a large red light district. I've heard that so many of them were trafficked or that many of them did it by force due to poverty or because their mother did it. If these women were given the option, how many of them would choose to leave? I am sure that there are some women who chose it and want equal rights, but how many are there? It doesn't seem probable, especially given the information I've been given by other people and other organizations. My roommate, Rita, suggested a wonderful article from a man that had traveled to Sonagachi and had encountered this NGO, actually, and he too was skeptical of them.

This has happened numerous times in India with other subjects, and it obviously must happen in the United States, but I don't understand why it still exists. Why does lying occur? Who is it benefiting? You. It benefits you, because you don't want to tell the truth, because it may be too difficult or put you in an awkward position. Well guess what, you are not the only person that exists in this world. Think of the countless people you are harming by lying. Imagine a world without falsities, without lying. Can you even imagine such a place? People have become so skeptical about life due to lies that they've been told in the past. I don't want to seem cold and skeptical, but today I was really ruffled by this presentation. Of course, I can't prove that this NGO is speaking falsely, and I don't want to point fingers, but I do want to draw attention to the fact that lying is always going to harm someone.

The truth will set you free. It's a quote often used, but I would rather add more to it. The truth will set others free. Those that you interact with each day, the other human beings deserve the truth from you. Gandhi spoke of a tree and the leaves that fall from this tree. He said that we spend our entire lives picking up these leaves of truth, pieces of truth, trying to understand it all, but we will never reach the tree. We will never fully understand the truth of this world. I can accept that. As much of a know-it-all as I am, I can accept that I will never know every truth of this world, but I would rather spend my entire life picking up leaves, getting closer than being lied to or telling lies to others. Each person deserves to live in the light of truth, so they can be set free.

Smile Like You Mean It

The Iron Chef Cookoff begins...

Do I have something on my face? Then why

are you laughing?!

Gravity conquers all folks

Just a stroll in Barabazar

U.F.O

When you travel around the world or go to somewhere new and exciting, your mind automatically is rolling and reeling into what you will discover and who you will be and all of the fabulous adventures you will partake in. You imagine yourself doing things you would never do, such as skydiving or swimming with sharks or chasing wild tigers on a safari. I had this in mind when I was thinking of India. I was thinking about bareback riding these beautiful, huge elephants in the middle of a lush green field. I imagined traveling down a jungle river, spotting tigers and other exotic animals. I imagined meditating on the rooftop during sunrise with a guru. So you can imagine that when I came to India and now that I’m living in Kolkata, it isn’t exactly what I pictured it to be.

I was reading in a book of mine about how to live each day and how to make each day count, yes extremely cheesy but entirely my kind of genre. Anyways, this woman was writing that so often people think that you have to live each and every day doing crazy things and making decisions you would never make, saying things you wouldn’t normally say and so on. However, she challenged those reading about a different idea. This idea she proposed went a little something like this: Instead of the previous version, why not live each day as you would usually do, but with more passion and more love and more understanding and more mercy and more beauty and more magic and more humor, etc.? I absolutely loved this idea, because being in India I kept thinking, “Oh, I need to do this and see that, because if I don’t I’ll regret it!” But the thing is, I’m living each day in India soaking things in and trying to genuinely appreciate India. Of course, I don’t always do this because I get irritated or hot or tired, but it is a constant process in my mind. I don’t feel the need to do dangerous or adventurous thing each day, but I do feel that each day should be valued and that I should improve who I am from the day before.

India has become my constant companion because it is with me every day, challenging me, astounding me, hating me and loving me all at the same time. Someone I was talking to the other day said something that truly hit me. He said, “Take in as much as you can while you’re in India, because once you step off that plane, you will never see the U.S the same way you once did.” Now, I can totally understand what he is saying, and although I haven’t experienced that yet, I can just imagine how different my perspective and outlook will be once home. India is such a blessing, and although the heat is unbearable at times and the crowd on the metro makes me wince, I would never trade it for anything else. The people in India have become so dear to me, and I will never allow myself to forget who they are. India is not one thing; there is no way that someone could use one word to describe India. India will take you by surprise, and India will show you things that you didn’t want to know about yourself, but we all need that. So I encourage everyone to find their own India. Find something or someone or some place that challenges you and astounds you, hates you and loves you all at the same time. Wait and see how surprised you will be.

I Got Sunshine in a Bag

Spreading the love in Kolkata

Meant for me...alas a peaceful home in Kolkata

My little friend waiting for me in my room!

An Affair to Remember

You Can’t Carry it With You if You Want to Survive

Words cannot even begin to explain the joy that I felt and the tears that I shed and the relief that washed over me and the comfort that blanketed me and the love that astounded me when I embraced my mom and dad today. Luckily, I am someone who loves change and new adventures, and I rarely get homesick, which is a blessing. However, seeing my mom and dad and being with them reminds me how much I love them and what a blessing they are in my life. I mean, they came all the way to Kolkata, India just to see me. This vacation has been extremely challenging for them and quite an experience, but they just kept telling me, we just wanted to see you. Such an unconditional and overwhelming love that I have in my parents.

This visit hasn’t been what either my parents or I expected, but isn’t that the epitome of India

for you? So in actuality, they have experienced the “true” India. To clarify, dad received the

traditional blessing of food poisoning while he was in Jaipur. He was quite sick, to be serious,

and ended up back in the hotel room with a doctor. He has strict instructions as to what he can

and can’t eat, and he has to take rest frequently. Unfortunately, this means much hotel time in

Kolkata and little Kolkata time. As disappointed as we all were the he couldn’t see parts of

Kolkata, I was able to spend the most alone time and us time with my parents that I probably

won’t be able to do for a while, even when home. We were all able to see the Mother House,

which is where Mother Teresa lived and where she is now buried, and we all absolutely loved it.

It was an incredibly beautiful experience, and this immense peace washed over us all as we

walked through the door to be greeted by the women in blue and white.

The rest of the day, dad went back to the hotel to lie down, and mom and I went to the Victoria

Memorial, ate lunch at Flurry’s, walked in the Park Street Cemetery, and then she came and

listened to a talk given by one of my elders at Prayasam. It was rewarding to show her around

the area where I go to school and to have her truly understand my blogs now that she’s seen

where I live. Even though my parents and I are extremely close, we are connected even more by the

bond that we share by both coming to India and seeing India. My mom was even able to ride the metro,

which I have been humorously dreaming of since I came to India. I spent the rest of the night with my

parents in the hotel, and even though some might think that this sound boring or unfortunate because

they didn’t get to see Kolkata, I treasured those moments with them, and I truly think that is the most

time I will be able to spend alone with them, even after I get back from India. In fact, even though I

would never wish food poisoning on my father, I was thankful that I had so much intimate time with my

parents just discussing our lives and being with each other. So many times, we as human beings find it

essential to constantly be moving, but this allows us little time to just be with each other. I rarely receive

this gift anymore, and I was able to savor just being with my parents in India, what more could a girl ask

for?

It was such a shifting experience to show my parents India. They were understandably overwhelmed by

India and constantly amazed at the chaos and various characteristics that comprise what India has been

for so long and what it is today. They continued to comment on how proud they were of me,

and it was such a strange feeling because I had never really thought about it. I knew India was

going to be a difficult country to live in, but then again, I chose it so it was my responsibility to

make the most of it. I don’t think that I realize right now, how much of an effect that India will

have on me when I come home. Sure, right now I’m a little burnt out and having my parents with me

was so comforting, I do miss home more than before, but India will always be mine. It will never leave

me, and I would never want it to. Anywhere you travel that is different from where you are is going to

be challenging, but the life that you live there will be forever changed. I will never wrap my mind around

India, and I can only hope that it will leave me with hope and extreme love for those around me. I didn’t

come to India to “find myself”, but India did find me. It has searched through every fiber of my being

and has and will continue to use me until there is nothing left. I still make mistakes every day, but I am

also learning from them greatly. My parents so graciously gave me a necklace in anticipation for my 21^st

birthday. It is breathtaking and handmade with an inscription given to the artisan from my mom. The

inscription reads, “We cannot all do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” This will

follow me for the rest of my life.

Scrambling for the Pause Button

Days. Time. These are funny concepts to me. Some people could care less what day or time it is, completely absorbed in the now. Some people care greatly about what day or time it is because they have so much to accomplish and they worry it will not get finished. We look behind us at our past, we look forward in anticipation for the future, and we see ourselves in the present, living.

I must admit that I've been struggling with this concept of time. If any of you know me closely, you very well know that I am someone who get bored easily. I am enamored with something or some place, but if I spend my days with that one thing or place, I become restless. I'm ready to move on to the next adventure, to experience other things and places. Lately, I've been finding myself getting bored. It's not entirely due to Kolkata, because I believe that Kolkata is a city that would never bore you, but that's just the thing. It's the city that will never bore you. However, if you live in a certain part or walk the same streets or go to the same places, it starts to seem monotonous. The splendor and charm are forgotten, and you are darting your eyes looking for other distractions.

Darjeeling was a beautiful vacation, and I still wish I was there because it was a change of pace. It was completely different from Kolkata, and it was extremely exciting. It left me jazzed, ready for more. Returning to Kolkata has been quite difficult, and it's only been a day. We become so busy with school, service learning, homework, etc that we rarely have time to explore where we actually live. I'm not only referring to the famous sites such as the Victoria Memorial or the Marble Palace, etc, I am referring more to the random streets and alleyways, the dive restaurants that leave you wanting more. We've had a couple of opportunities to explore, and I have loved every single minute of it, but it is not enough. I understand the responsibilities that we have to school and to service learning, but I wish there was more time. So that's how we get back to this concept of time.

Time is encroaching upon me, because, well I might as well say it, it's nearly April. And not that I am counting down the days, although I am excited to go home, but it's only a month really, which just doesn't seem real. I know that I will not leave Kolkata with regrets, because I honestly don't believe in regrets. They bother me too much and they take up too much of my brain space, that I just leave them be. I'm not worried about regretting not going certain places or doing certain things, I am more concerned with now, with the time that I have right now, resting in my lap.

I saw a quote today, because I've been soaking up quotes like syrup on pancakes, and I couldn't agree more with it. The part I loved the most said, "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take..." by John Burroughs. Don't ask me who that is, because I don't know, nor will I pretend to. But I love what he said. I still go to bed with thoughts speeding across, desperately wanting my attention because they had escaped their chance during the day. There is so much to see and so much to do, but more importantly there is so much to live. So here is what I proposing to myself, and then telling you which is kind of strange now that I think about it, even if I get bored at times or wish that I could go explore, wherever I am at, I am going to soak up the people. I am going to get lost in thinking of everything that I've done, and I will get to the places and things that I will get to, and India will be marvelous. It won't prevent the boredom, because I am easily prone to that, but it will help. Leave it to me to become bored in a city where things and places and people are constantly changing.